


Phil's Firsts

by LauraMesser



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: First Child, First Detention, First Kiss, First Love, First Roommate, M/M, Multi, first move
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 09:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7613479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraMesser/pseuds/LauraMesser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles and one-shots that surround Phil Coulson and his many firsts in life. They include mulitple pairings, AUs but no real connection between each chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Kiss - CoulSmash!

**Author's Note:**

> We all love Phil Coulson so lets just write about his many loves and lives!! If you have any advice or prompts please feel free to comment and kudos!

Phil Coulson’s first kiss was a distasteful, rushed and wet ordeal. He was seventeen years old, she was petite, vaguely cute and very desperate. He’d been courting a girl from his English Literature class for months when the week before, in the very same bar where he now stands, the whole attempt led nowhere but drunk pecks on his cheek and declarations of ‘love’. Here he now stands again, talking to this nice girl whose flirting is obvious and his resolve is beaten up enough, from the previous week and his friends own ventures in dark corners and darker rooms at that very moment, to allow her to press close and talk even closer. Even now, twenty odd years later, he can still feel the overly probing tongue almost choking him, the overwhelming taste of smoke and alcohol that he hadn’t smelt from her before, and the crushing regret making his stomach churn with shame. Phil Coulson was a young man who valued his principles and morals above almost anything, he didn’t drink until he was twenty one, he never smoked and never took drugs. To this day, he still hasn’t been so drunk he was sick the next day. Hence the waiting and, to say romantic would be an understatement, naïve notions about first kisses and loves. He soon realised that love didn’t matter to him as in who it was with or what body they took but that they loved him as much as he did them, pansexual was the term he’d become familiar with. The only thing that kept Phil from fully devolving into the introvert he was at heart was the thought that even though his first kiss with a girl was essentially pitiful, his first kiss with a guy could be better, something worth fighting for?

Bruce Banner was a teenager of few words and a man of fewer. He had a beer once, decided he enjoyed full control of his facilities more, and moved on. Bruce had two notable girlfriends and neither had much time for romance or sex, which he supposed were good things because, now with the other guy calling at least half the shots, he’s definitely not comfortable with either notion. Bruce appreciated the simple things in life and one’s first kiss was not simple; he realised, ten years later, that it was something that didn’t change you or your life forever but shaped what your relationships and views on romance might be in the future. Appreciating the small things in life wasn’t something a lot of teenage boys did but back in the eighties when the time of peace and love came to his high school, some girls found it admiring if not attractive. So there he was in a broom closet at a keg party with his lips closed and pressed tightly against some blonde as she moved or grunted, and he didn’t, and someone banged on the door and nothing ever seemed so small anymore. More recently, Bruce discovered that it’s not necessarily the small things that have to matter but the things he himself finds important have to matter to that significant other too. Hence why he landed on the word demi-sexual not too long ago but ‘sexual’ may have to be ruled out all together at this point. He’s never had a boyfriend as such but a few dates which he enjoyed, and had to leave in favour of not being experimented on by less than savoury people. Maybe romantic relationships weren’t on the cards for him but he had many close and abnormal friends, so there’s that?

 

 

* * *

 

 

Phil Coulson had been branded a “gentleman” too many times to count. He’d soon realised that this meant, in twenty first century terms, that he was sweet and vaguely handsome, their mother would enjoy him more than they would and ‘see you later, friend!’. Bruce Banner on the other hand, he hadn’t been on enough, if any, dates to be branded anything. It’s not like he didn’t want to because, dear lord, he did, but he’d become comfortable with the close friendships he never had before and ruining them would be bad enough, never mind dragging romance into the equation.

Phil Coulson met Bruce Banner on SHIELD’s Helicarrier, well he saw him and admired him; not for just his looks or his alter ego but his ability to handle Tony and his pure intelligence to rival Stark’s without his arrogance. Bruce, although he hates to admit it, never really saw Phil on the Helicarrier with the rush of bodies and stress off the scales, he was just managing to stay low level angry and thankful for his own lab space; even if it did come with a free Tony Stark. They both never said a word to each other until after Phil’s near death, Bruce’s near leaving and Tony’s forceful micromanaging making the entire Avengers team and their handler living under Tony’s roof.

Phil couldn’t sleep, lingering effects of hospital treatments mixed with recurring nightmares made for a difficult night whereas Bruce’s late night affair with new lab space plus general sleep avoidance made for an early morning trip to the kitchen. This is truly where Phil Coulson met Bruce Banner…

“Hi,”

“Uh, hi,” Bruce’s shock unconcealed, his curls perfectly framing his face, the five o’clock shadow did nothing to hide his well-defined jaw and the first thought Phil had was ‘so very handsome’.

“Tea?” Bruce was surprised even further at that, although Coulson was a spy, he probably knew Bruce couldn’t handle the extra caffeine and tea was more enjoyable really. Looking closer, his pale skin and shortened hair certainly didn’t crush Bruce’s appeal to the seemingly gentle man. The muscles he had, just about hidden by the white V-neck and checked pyjama bottoms.

“Yes,”

“Earl Grey?”

“Lady,”

“Perfect. Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all,”

“You usually drink English tea at four am?” Phil gave a little half smirk as he sat opposite Bruce on the island, pouring himself a cup.

“Depends on the morning. You?”

“Depends on the night,” The little half smirk made an appearance again and Bruce wondered whether it was aimed at him or it was just self-deprecating. Bruce allowed himself a small smile.

“May I ask what you’re working on?”

And that was what started their friendship. They drank multitudes of tea at all hours of the morning, at least three times a week for two months. That then spread to an invite to Bruce’s lab, to an invite to SHIELD for afternoon tea, or coffee because Phil really couldn’t survive the day without it even if tea tasted better, this then led to lunches and sitting together at dinner and Phil realised he never kissed a guy…

 

 

* * *

 

 

Deep breaths. You can do this. Bruce is your friend, if he says no, he’ll still be your friend. This was the mantra repeating itself through Phil’s mind as he stood in the elevator as it made its way to Bruce’s floor. He’d decided on a simple dark blue button up with a leather jacket and some jeans; a bouquet of oriental and Peruvian lilies, signifying friendship, devotion, beauty and class. At least he hadn’t gone for the carnations just yet, ‘new love’ seemed just a touch too far.

Finally reaching the door he’s walked through many times in the last three months, Phil takes one last deep breath before knocking.

“Hey, Phil. You don’t have to knock you’re welcome to just come right in,” Bruce smiles gently, realising he’s never really said that to anyone before. Bruce had always been a fan of privacy and personal space even before the accident but with Phil it was easy and casual, so why not?

“Right, yes, of course. I just felt that I needed to knock this time as I had a question to ask you. These are for you,” Phil smiles with as much charm as he can manage through his nerves, pushing the flowers towards Bruce.

“Uh, thank you, these are… beautiful.” Bruce tries to hide his blush, smelling the lilies, knowing what they stand for because he’s that kind of guy.

“You’re welcome. Um, Bruce I was wondering if you would give me the honour of escorting you to dinner this evening?” Phil tries his very best to act as though his whole heart isn’t about to leap out of his chest whether the answer is a yes or no.

“Uh, um, as- like a date?” Bruce stutters, not hiding his blush at all.

“That was what I had in mind but if you prefer I would still like to take you out as a very dear friend?” And Phil was being completely honest, he hadn’t dated anyone in more than a year and had a few dates with average men that never went anywhere put a peck on the cheek. If he could have Bruce has a confidante, a loyal friend then it wouldn’t matter to him either way.

“I-I,” Bruce stuttered once more, battling with himself and with the Other Guy, Phil was someone he trusted and would hate to lose but if he could have more, if they could _be_ more then why try to stop what could be an amazing thing, “I would love to go out on a date with you.”

“Thank you, I’ll drop by to get you at six?” At Bruce’s nod, Phil grinned and extended his hand to clasp at Bruce’s and squeeze his fingers softly before heading back to his own floor to quietly rejoice and freak out.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Phil once more made his way to Bruce’s floor, another encouraging mantra making its way through his head. ‘Keep calm and act cool’. He’s a forty-odd year old man, ‘act cool’ is all he could really come up with in the face of a man such as Bruce Banner.

“Is this too casual?” Bruce asked in the vague direction of the door which he’d left open, encouraging Phil to enter at his own will. Unlike any other date he’d had, Bruce was actually worried how he looked; standing in the mirror and fixing his blazer and shuffling his own hair, he barely gave Phil a glance which was very un-Bruce of him.

“Wow,” Phil jerked to a stop, mouth dry, just inside the door as he caught the view of Bruce by the mirror in the hall.

“Uh, too little?” Bruce blushed as he finally met Phil’s eyes as he spun around.

“N-no! You- you look wonderful,” Phil allowed himself a very appreciative smile as he took in his date for the evening. His usual attire would be a plain button up with slacks and glasses, the epitome of professional but ready to bolt at any moment. Now, Bruce wore a navy Henley under a light washed black blazer with tight black jeans to match. Phil had a similar idea, he and Bruce had been out many times before, either during work or not and even though he wore suits a lot, Bruce knew Phil’s suit was the differentiation between Agent Coulson and Phil Coulson. When the suit is off for the day, that’s when he can truly relax and let his guard down a little, hence the dark grey button up with his favoured leather jacket and jeans.

“Thank you, you look great too,” Bruce smiled as his blush lessened ever so slightly.

“Indian’s okay, right?” Phil remembered about Bruce telling him of his travels and al the amazing food he fell in love with over the decades.

“Absolutely, after you,” Bruce shut the door behind them and they both stepped into the elevator, sharing glances and soft smiles. They opted out of telling the others about their date, they all knew how close Bruce and Phil had gotten over the months; Natasha even accused Phil of dating their friendly scientist but Phil was honest and denied it, until now that is. Phil cringes inwardly at the thought of Tony’s reaction.

“Are we walking? It’s a nice evening out?” Bruce suggested, interrupting both the silence and their nervous thoughts.

“The restaurant is a touch too far to walk, so I was going to take Lola out for a spin, if you don’t mind? I’d love to take a walk with you after though,” Phil not to think of his burning ears, Nick always accused him of buying Lola for the attraction it got him.

“That sounds perfect, as organised as ever, Phil,”

“Ha, thank you. I may be organised but I’m terrified,” Phil chuckled nervously, hands clenching as the elevator reached the garage.

“Don’t be, I’m probably more scared than you are. We all know how my last relationship ended…” Bruce cringed at himself as they stepped out into the underground garage filled with Tony’s cars and the odd SUV and Lola covered conspicuously by a sheet at the very end of the walkway.

“Hey, I’m terrified because I know how much I like you and how much you’ve been through. I’d never want to hurt or upset you or _Him_. You’re one of my closest friends Bruce and I don’t care if _this_ doesn’t work out, I’ll always be blessed to have known you. I want you to know that,” Phil stopped him with his whisper soft voice and a smooth hand in his own, looking into Bruce’s eyes as he spoke.

“I-Thank you. I don’t think you’d ever be able to hurt… _us_. We like you too much to let you so don’t worry about losing us. Just, promise me you won’t be afraid to hold on too tight. Sometimes we need to be squeezed a little harder for it to go in,” Bruce smiled to himself as Phil nodded, completely serious, and squeezed Bruce’s hand, not letting go until they reached the car. Phil removed the grey sheet cover swiftly, placing it in the boot before opening Bruce’s door and helping him in. “She’s gorgeous.”

“She’s my baby. I allow myself to obsess over my cards and my car. Now that the cards are a little insignificant in the face of working with Captain America himself, I let my obsession calm a little although the collectibles will still be worth something later. I’m glad to get Lola back out in the open again,” Phil caressed the steering wheel with pride and Bruce’s smile grew, it was really nice to see a side to Phil that was a lot more vulnerable than he made it out to be.

“Well, I never really had an eye for cars but I can tell she’s well looked after,”

“Wait ‘til you hear her purr,” Phil winked and Bruce tried to hold back a laugh as the engine hummed to life, purring like a content kitten, they pulled out and drove to the restaurant, holding hands every so often and exchanging little tales of New York memories they had.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sitting opposite each other at the restaurant, after Phil held Bruce’s chair out for him and ordered a non-alcoholic beverage for them both, their tales of woe and laughter continued from Phil’s first Captain America card, to Bruce’s mother’s terrible cooking, to work shenanigans and they kept in contact the whole night. Hands brushed and held, forearms were grabbed in laughter and desserts were shared without second thought.

“Thank you for the beautiful night out. Definitely some of the best Indian food I’ve had this side of the equator,” Bruce held his blazer over one arm in an attempt to battle the New York evening heat and Phil followed his direction holding his jacket but they seemed adamant at holding hands anyway as they walked.

“It was no problem, you can show me that nice little Thai place you keep going on about next time,” Phil smiled hopefully and squeezed Bruce’s fingers in his and Bruce met his gaze and squeezed back.

“I’d love to,” they kept quiet as they made their way back to Lola, thinking over their night and bumping shoulders casually every so often.

Driving home was a similar situation but they spent ten minutes discussing the legal actions they could take in order to stop Tony from ever finding out ‘Agent-Agent and his Science Bro are the new couple of the century’, without ever deciding on a route other than laughing at each other’s plans of threats against the billionaire.

“You know I’m not a woman, right? You don’t have to open doors and hold chairs or walk me to my door?” Bruce grinned as Phil offered to follow him to his door.

“No- right, yes, of course. I-My Mom always said to treat your date like you would your Mother, well with respect and manners and she kinda knew I wasn’t straight before I did so I always assumed she meant any date, male or female. Everyone should be treated with a little chivalry, even men. Although, if you don’t like-“ Bruce interrupted Phil’s nervous spew with a chaste yet intimate kiss to his cheek.

“I love it. I was joking, it is nice to be pampered for once. Goodnight,” Bruce reassured himself and Phil with his unusually confident tone, not moving from his position leaned against Phil, face warm against his cheek, mouth by his ear.

“You’re welcome. Goodnight, Bruce,” Phil smiled and pecked Bruce on his cheek before he stepped back and into his apartment. Phil stopped himself from doing a happy dance and collapsing on the couch until he reached his own apartment.

 

* * *

 

This type of date continued for another three weeks, they went to five different restaurants, visited the theatre, the opera and the cinema. Every night ended with a kiss to the cheek or hand and every morning they met for breakfast because they were both terrible at eating at lunch or eating at all during the day due to their crazy schedules. They decided to rip the whole relationship secret off like a Band-Aid and gathered the team for a meeting to tell them all at once after two weeks of dates; the only surprise at that meeting was that everyone already knew and the couple fully realised that they were on a team of super soldiers, assassins and spies and they weren’t trying all that hard to hide it in the first place.

Now is the night Phil has been planning for, dreaming of since that shameful night when he was seventeen and that girl’s saliva was everywhere but her own mouth. His first kiss with a man and it was hopefully going to be with a man that he loved…

“I love him.” Phil shot up from his bed at the realisation. After six months and numerous dates he was in love with Bruce Banner and they haven’t even kissed yet.

For the rest of day Phil paced and changed outfit for their date that night; he worried over telling Bruce or not and kissing Bruce goodnight or not and every little thing that popped into his head. 

Phil rushed around, tidying, dusting, sweeping; anything to make his mind stop repeating ‘I love him’. They had decided to have a homemade dinner at Phil’s apartment, something casual yet intimate and because Phil can’t cook to save his life, Bruce offered to show him a simple pasta dish that they could make together.

“Phil? I’ve got the strainer, the pots, the sauce and the olive oil; if you don’t have pasta then, I’m gonna call your Mom and tell her that you do actually need her cooking classes and I’m not going with you,” Bruce walked into the kitchen like it was his own, fully comfortable with his environment. He really was too, having someone you could joke with and talk to and vaguely cook with was something he didn’t truly think he needed and he was so glad Phil proved him wrong. He’d thoroughly enjoyed the past few months in Phil’s company, learning more about the kind, vulnerable and nerdy guy underneath the suit and he loved it… him. He loved _him_. Calm. Stay calm. He won’t leave us, he can protect himself and us. He’s better than the others. He _promised._

“Hey,” Phil breathed deeply but his nerves calmed instantaneously at the sight of Bruce setting up in his kitchen, his well-loved purple shirt untucked from a day’s work and his glasses folded into his shirt pocket. This man has given him so much and he deserves nothing but the best.

“Hi. Pasta?” Was all Bruce seemed to come up with at the sight of his boyfriend in the kitchen entrance; arms crossed, leaning against the door frame with his sleeves rolled up his forearms and his glasses framing his piercing blue eyes.          

“I love you…”

“No pasta?” Bruce replied, blush patterning his face as Phil looked at the ground chuckling as he made his way over to him.

“Yeah, I have pasta. But, I love you, Bruce…” Phil smiled gently as he held Bruce’s hand in his and caressed his cheek with the other.

“I-I love you too,” Bruce smiled in return and grabbed a hold of Phil’s shirt, pulling him in as they shared their first kiss. It was smooth and chaste and slightly ruined by their smiling but filled with love and Phil thought it was the best kiss he’d ever had in his life.

 


	2. First Roommate - Phlint

Clint Barton was the weirdest roommate Phil Coulson had the pleasure of knowing.

He was loud, snacked obsessively, slept most of the day and cried for absolutely any reason. That of course led to Phil being very, very in love with him.

Phil, never having a roommate before, was unsure whether he could put up with an obnoxious tool who brought a different girl home every night and drank like there was no tomorrow. But, there was Clint who worked hard in three different jobs to ensure his place in an apartment on campus, worked even harder to grab his very own scholarship in archery and attended every class he had religiously. In spite of all his little quirks, Phil considered Clint a good friend as well as Natasha his ‘super platonic soulmate’, in Clint’s own words. Of course this would lead to a very confusing and depressing bundle of _feelings;_ this obviously allowed Steve to tease Phil consistently which gave him a reason to tickle the smaller man into submission.

Whatever way Phil felt about Clint, he couldn’t let it interfere with their living arrangement or their friendship because Phil couldn’t afford to move out and there were no other spots left to change to. This was all entirely pointless because to think about, Clint would have to have some sort of romantic feelings for Phil, which he obviously didn’t…

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Phil asked, not even phased by the sight of Clint bawling on the couch; cocooned in the fluffiest purple blanket Phil had ever seen and his iPad dangling dangerously from his fingers over the end of the ten year old couch.

“It’s the swans… they can be gay, Phil! Isn’t that, like, the most beautiful thing ever?” Clint’s eyes glittered with tears and his mouth quivered and Phil’s heart flipped dangerously.

“That-That’s great, Clint. Best news I’ve heard all day… Pizza?”

“Yeah, thanks.” He sniffed adorably into the tissues Phil had left on the coffee table after the ‘Star Wars Incident’.

Phil was completely and entirely screwed, he thumped his head on the kitchen counter as subtly as possible before ordering in their usual pizzas. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Ughhhhhhh….” Resonated from the bathroom in their apartment. Apparently a night out with Natasha Romanova was not for the faint-hearted or the easily-drunk, as Clint has proven time and again.

“Want anything?” Phil asked as he slumped against the bathroom door, barely awake in the early hours Clint crashed in at.

“Mmmmm… Ph’n? W’er?” Clint mumbled, assuming Phil understood him as he never looked up from his position half-way into the toilet bowl.

“’Kay” Phil managed, stumbling his own way through the apartment as Clint could be heard singing to himself… Beyoncé?

Phil was used to being the only sober person in the apartment block, if not on campus. He kept to himself and stuck to his parents’ rule about not drinking until he was legal; looking around at his friends’ poor and weakened states on nights out, he was pretty glad.

“Water and phone… sip it and don’t drop that in the toilet. I’ll fish it out once but not again…”

“M’kay… luv ya Ph’l,” Clint murmured, rolling the water over his neck and laying his phone against the bathtub. Phil shook his head, figuring he was dreaming and left to go back to his own bed again.

A few hours later, or Phil presumed it was, Clint could be heard sniffling; being still half asleep, in habit, Phil grabbed the box of tissues from the table and made his way back to the bathroom. Clint could be seen, curled up into a ball on the bathroom floor clutching his phone to his chest.

“What’s up, Clint?” Phil sat next to him, legs crossed, eyes closed.

“Lookit! Look, s’a pig. Bab’pig-piggle-t. Phil, lookit!” Clint shoved his phone into Phil’s face, not realising his eyes were still closed when Phil mumbled his assent and fell asleep right next to him in the bathroom.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“PHIL!!”

“What? What?!” Phil skidded his way into the kitchen, catching sight of Clint on top of the counter, eyes watering, and weirdly, he calmed instantly.

“He’s- They just- Lookit!” He said, thrusting his hand out and playing the video of dogs taking care of small children and babies, eyes widening as he watched my reaction.

“I know, Clint. I tagged you in it, remember. I know you can’t actually take Lucky in with the living rules but at least you feed him and make sure he has somewhere to sleep; so I thought the video might cheer you up. Maybe not…” Phil shrugged, attempting to hide his burgeoning blush as he moved across to the fridge.

“No, no, it did. It’s just… We really don’t deserve them Phil, seriously! They’re all so amazing and loyal even though people are fucked up and fuck them up,” Clint huffed softly, crossing his arms and putting his head atop of them, staring intently at me as he calmed himself.

“I know, I know. It sucks. The world sucks but that’s why we’re here, right? To make the world a better place and stuff. We can’t do it all right now, Clint, but you’re always giving strays food and taking them to the vet or new homes. You’re doing the best you can right now and that’s the most you can do,” Phil reassured him, unaware of Clint’s ears flaming a bright red as he listened closely.

“M-hmm…” Was all Clint could come up with, holding back nervous giggles.

“Want me to make you mac and cheese with my super-secret recipe and we can share an extra-large bag of chips so we don’t seem really fat?” Phil offered before his breath was squeezed out of him suddenly. Clint had bounced right off the counter, hugging Phil tight as a thank you and trying not to burst into tears again; although he didn’t think Phil would mind all that much.

 

* * *

 

 

“Why? Why!? WHY?!”

“Huh!?” Phil was rudely awakened from his power nap on top of his research on his final term paper by Clint’s desperate cries

“Cruel world! Why would you do this t’me?” Clint called to the supposed heavens from his knees on the kitchen floor which would’ve been a sight Phil enjoyed, apart from the tears now streaming down his face.

“What is it?”

“No Oreos. None. I’ve been working all day and practicing all evening to come home to the eighth level of hell, Philip! One where there are no such creamy delights created by the beautiful being upstairs.” Clint slumped onto his belly on the floor, looking at the empty cabinet.

“Wanna share mine?” Phil shook the mini bag he’d gotten from the vending machine in the library, knowing Clint and knowing the state he’d be in when he got home.

“You’re the real creamy delight God created Philip J Coulson, love ya!” Clint kissed Phil’s cheek, grabbing the whole packet of cookies before vaulting over the couch to watch Dog Cops. Phil tried impressively hard to get back to work and not think about the searing felling on his cheek from the kiss or the gut whirling words Clint uttered so easily. He gave up after an hour and joined the man of his poorly constructed dreams on the couch.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Would you guys shut up?! Just because I screamed a little, doesn’t mean I was actually scared. It was a shock that’s it!” Clint sighed harshly as the five of them made their way back into the apartment after their trip to the cinema.

“We never said you were scared. We just said you sounded like a five year old girl!” Barnes chuckled as Clint thumped him on the non-prosthetic arm before slouching into the crouch, arms crossed and face scrunched angrily.

“Aw, c’mon. Leave the guy alone! It’s okay, Clint. I had an asthma attack in there, it was pretty scary!” Steve attempted to comfort his best friend’s roommate and crush.

“No, you had an attack because the back seats in that place were covered in dust,” Natasha reasoned, smirking ever so slightly at her best friend’s discomfort. She knew of Clint’s deep hatred of nuns, especially in horror films like ‘The Conjuring 2’ that they’d all decided to see.

“Whatever. I’m going to bed, night. Assholes.” Clint was so out of it from the film and his friends’ constant teasing that he never realised he hadn’t seen or talked to Phil since they arrived back at their apartment.

Trying to blank out his friends’ bickering and chatting in his living room, Clint fell into a restless sleep with dreams of empty churches and soulless creatures. Phil, of course, trying to be funny or at least get some kind of reaction out of Clint that wasn’t tears or bone-crushing hugs, decided to get his own back. Clint had a thing, a nerf dart thing, he took it up at the most inopportune times; like when Phil had mid-terms due or when his high-maintenance parents were visiting the next day. Therefore, Phil decided it would be a great idea to throw on a dark robe, a white sheet over his head and creeped quietly into the corner of his roommate’s bedroom after their friends took off for the night. The plan was to make whispering noises, or say prayers or something until Clint woke up; he’d step forward, Clint would freak, they would laugh about it and go back to bed. Or not…

Clint sat up abruptly, his nightmare ending suddenly at the sound of voices in his room. Well, he hoped there wasn’t voices coming from the end of his bed because then he may or may not jump out the window and he really didn’t want to let Phil pay for a new window because he had spent his allowance on the vet’s bills again.

Then, as if he was asking for it, a figure in black stepped out of the darkness, looking right at him and saying the ‘Our Father’.

“AHHHHH!!! OH GOD I DON’T WANNA DIE, I NEVER EVEN TOLD PHIL I LOVED HIM!!!” Clint screamed louder and higher than he did in the theatre previously while simultaneously bursting into tears. Phil stood silently before it clicked in his brain how badly this had gone wrong before he rushed to put the lights on and calm his friend.

“Clint! Clint! It’s fine! You’re fine! It was just a joke, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry! I never want to make you cry, I’m supposed to help stop the tears. I’m so sorry, Clint,” Phil ripped off the ridiculous outfit as he jumped on the bed next to Clint, hugging him tight and hoping the guy he was in love with (AND WHO LOVED HIM TOO APPARENTLY!?) would forgive him.

“You’re such an idiot!” Clint hit Phil weakly on the torso as he sniffled into his shoulder, holding tightly onto his roommate anyway.

“I know, I’m sorry. It was just supposed to be a prank because of all those nerf darts,” Phil chuckled weakly, patting Clint on the back gently.

“Your pranks suck,”

“I _know_ , I’m _sorry_ ,”

“I- I meant it you know?”

“I-I didn’t know… I’m sorry?” Phil loosened his grip as Clint slid back enough so they could look each other in the eye.

“I kinda love you, ya idiot,” Clint grinned at Phil’s gobsmacked look, gripping his bicep in an attempt to both move Phil closer and get a reaction out of him.

“Yeah- w-well, I love you too. Ya doofus,” Phil grinned back as they inched closer, kissing softly at last.

 

* * *

 

You’d think after finally getting together and being actually happy as a couple, Clint wouldn’t cry nearly as much as he used to. But, nope. That would be incorrect. He cries essentially the same amount even though it may not be for the same reasons as before. For example…

“Hey Clint, babe, I’m home!” Phil shouted down the corridor, knowing his boyfriend had been at work in the children’s centre from six o’clock this morning and probably passed out in bed.

“M’here!” Clint’s broken tones echoed from their beloved couch over the muted TV voices.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Phil asked soothing his upset boyfriend as he joined him in the nest of blankets, pillows and tissues.

“It was so scary! It’s okay though. She made it, back to her babies. Safe and sound. It was so close, Phil! What would the lil’ baby bunnies do without their Mama? Stupid foxes.”

“What?”

“The artic fox was hunting down the fluffy bunny but he escaped!” Clint blew his nose, smile lighting up his face.

“Clint, what have I told you about watching nature documentaries? They always make you cry!” Phil hugged him tight, reaching out to hold his hand as he moved before Clint sobs started up again.

“What? What happened now?” Phil asked, slightly alarmed that he’d done something to upset Clint again.

“You’re so wonderful. Holding my hand and buying me tissues…” Clint hugged Phil tight, kissing lightly at his neck as Phil smiled tentatively as he relaxed into the knowledge that having his first ever roommate wasn’t so bad at all.

“Hey, Clint. Know what I just remembered?”

“Hm?”

“Swans can be gay, isn’t that beautiful?”

“Awwwww!! Phil you’re gonna make us both cry!”

“It’s okay. I bought us some more tissues,” Phil kissed Clint’s forehead before they both settled down for the evening, awaiting the pizza they both know Phil pre-ordered because they were best friends and boyfriends and roommates, and that’s just what they did.


	3. First Love - Capsicoul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout Out to my little sister who is made of all things punny, couldn't have done it without her!  
> Laura X

Phil Coulson tended to be a modest sixteen year old boy. He got good grades, had a part time job at a local car mechanics to try and buy his own car and he had a large bunch of weird friends, like any normal teenager should. Phil Coulson was also one of his high school’s top basketball players and the only time Phil seemed a little less stoic or even proud was when he was in view of his number one fan; Steve Rogers.

Phil had been playing basketball since he was ten years old, in their neighbourhood he’d throw hoops late into the evening, unaware of the skinny little blonde boy watching from his window. Steve hadn’t been allowed out much due to his almost crippling asthma which led to some less than great auto-immune diseases and illness over the years. Watching the dark haired kid running laps around the court, and landing almost every shot like he’d seen the guys on TV do, he couldn’t help but be jealous; that was until he met Philip.

 

* * *

 

“Sarah, how are you? Steve doing any better?” Phil over heard his mom talking in the next aisle but wasn’t paying too much attention because he was trying to find the one toy he was allowed to spend his pocket money on that month. His little brother, Jacob, was gaping at the rows of chocolate bars at the very end of the same aisle but Phil was a mature ten year old and he was looking for the brand new Captain America action figure released the week before.

Finally catching a glimpse of red and blue on the top shelf Phil leans on the rickety old shelf on his tip-toes, finger tips barely touching the box. So, of course Phil was asking for it when the shelf began to creak and his sneaker slipped, leading to his small frame tipping backwards and on top of something smaller, pointy and squirming. Turning around and lifting himself up a little he caught sight of the shocking blue eyes and mop of blonde hair with the kid’s face turning as red as Cap’s shield.

“I’m so sorry,” Phil apologises sincerely, helping the smaller boy up keeping a comfortable grip on his hand he pulls out his go-to attitude of corny jokes, “ I couldn’t _‘figure’_ out how to reach it.”

Steve looks into the taller boys pale blue eyes and recognises him from the basketball court but says nothing as he’s caught off guard by the cheesy pun and snorts in laughter, a smile breaking out onto his face. Phil’s ears burn as he catches his first glimpse at one of the most amazing smiles he thinks he’s ever seen and vows to make as many jokes as possible just to make this kid smile.

“Steve,” The skinnier boy offers his hand, fixing his hair out of his eyes with the other.

“Phil. I hope I didn’t hurt you or your ‘ _Phil’-ings_ ,” Phil grins as he shakes the boy’s hand.

“Oh that was terrible,” Steve says even though he’s grinning back like a Cheshire cat himself.

“I can do worse, do you need a _‘hand’_ with anything?” Phil waved his hand in a mocking gesture and Steve laughed, smacking the hand down.

“Looks like you needed more help than I did,” Steve motioned towards the shelf behind Phil.

“Yeah, can’t seem to get the new Captain America figure down from there. Dunno why they put it on the top anyway, how’s a kid supposed to reach it?”

“Maybe with a little creativity. Ya think you could gimme a boost?” Phil looked the kid whose navy blue button up made him look even older than he should, yet smaller due to the loose fitting so, nodding, he hoisted the boy onto his shoulders.

Steve, not fearing falling or breaking anything because he’d done it all before by himself and with Bucky by his side, grabbed two Captain America ‘dolls’ like his Uncle Howard liked to call them. Just before they were able to plant both pairs of feet safely on the ground once more, around the corner came both their mothers led by Phil’s smug seven year old brother.

“Steven Grant Rogers!”

“Philip James Coulson!”

“Oops.”

“Let me explain…”

Let’s just say, Phil and Steve’s first meeting was one of adventure and punishment but Phil ‘accidently’ tossed Jake’s Reese’s bar in the trash and Steve finally joined Phil on the basketball court once their grounding had ended. Well, Steve says he ‘joined in’ where Phil says he almost had an attack and sat and judged Phil like a recruiter until they had to rush to their separate houses for dinner.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Throughout their journey from middle school and into high school, Phil and Steve only got closer and Phil’s jokes only got worse.

Steve’s mom was a single parent and he never knew his father but he didn’t need to, their family was perfect the way it was; until the break-in anyway. Back where Steve grew up in Brooklyn, their apartment was stationed in a less than homey estate where robberies were a regular occurrence. Apparently no one had thought to steal from the single mom raising a kid on death’s door every winter, which was the way it stayed until one dark September evening as they visited with Bucky’s family to celebrate his mom’s birthday, the Rogers’ arrived back to an empty and broken home. Since then Sarah couldn’t sleep or trust that her son was safe so took the promotion offer in Chicago which was an hour drive from her sister just in case. Steve had never been so upset in his life; not when he caught pneumonia, not when Bucky was almost expelled from school and not even when his mom broke her leg in a snow covered bank outside their apartment block. Leaving behind the only friend whoever stuck around and stood up for him was the hardest thing a nine-year-old could contemplate. Now, he was still upset but he and Buck met once every other month and skyped at least once a week; especially once he’d heard about the little punk’s new _‘best friend’._ James Barnes was not a jealous kid but he knew when there was something _more_ going on with his best friend and his best friend’s new _best friend_ ; even if Steve didn’t even know yet.

Each morning they would meet in Phil’s kitchen where he would make breakfast as his Mom would be coming in from her shift at the hospital where Steve’s mother worked days there, as a nurse as well. As Phil was the oldest in his house and Steve could burn water, they tended to share a lot of meals together. As Steve helped Phil pack their lunches, Jake would take the dog for a morning walk before Phil’s Dad went into the army base where he trained soldiers for war. Being army brats, Phil and Jake never got to know their relatives and couldn’t keep friends for long but once Phil’s Grandma got sick and his Aunt was pregnant with twins the Coulson family decided to head back to their original hometown, Chicago, and set up a permanent base.

“Are you ready for my _egg-cellent_ breakfast?”

“Ughhhhh!”

“I know it’s _cheesy_ but I feel ‘ _grate’_!” Phil nodded exaggeratedly at the grater in his hand as he made omelettes.

“No. Stooooop!”

“Is it _de-grating_? Are my _egg yolks_ too much? I’m sorry, I’m a bit of a _whisk-taker_ ,” Phil continued, trying to hold back laughter as his best friend repeatedly hit his head off the table, as he whisked the eggs for scramble because Steve was picky like that.

“Are you done?” Steve groaned even though he wasn’t even attempting to hide his obvious smile of amusement.

“ _Um-elette_ me think of some more…” Phil caressed his chin in a thoughtful fashion before Steve got up and hit him upside the head, laughing as Phil turned off the cooker.

That then started a slap fight, moving away from the hot plates, they giggled openly for two high school boys. Making it to the living room couches before they landed in a heap as Steve threw a pillow at Phil’s head.

“You’ll give me a _con-cushion_!” Phil laughed as Steve rolled his eyes, jumping on Phil’s waist, hands trying to cover his mouth.

As Phil struggled with a much heavier post-pubescent and healthy Steve on top of him, Steve shushed him, both because of the terrible puns and because Phil’s mom was trying to sleep above them. Phil removed Steve’s hands only for him to slip forward, with their noses touching, Steve’s hands planted either side of Phil’s head and their eyes locked in a suspicious silence; Phil spoke in a whisper…

“I know how you can _cushion the blow_ …” Not moving his eyes from Steve’s as he said it, he saw the spark of amusement and something else glint in Steve’s eyes before he leaned in. Their lips met each other just barely, chastely pecking at each other until neither could breathe and pulled back as a loud crash signalling Jake was back with Agent, the dog, and they bolted up and away from each other.

“Hurry up! We’ll be late and I’ve gotta meet Wanda outside home-room!” Jacob garbled as he shovelled his omelette into him before grabbing his lunch and attempted to push Phil out the door to the Coulson’s Mazda3 which Phil only recently got his pass permit to drive.

 

* * *

 

 

Unfortunately, that day happened to be a Wednesday. Wednesdays were the only days Steve and Phil happened to have absolutely _no_ classes together. Phil has a basketball team meeting during their homeroom time together, Phil’s study time is an hour after Steve’s and they don’t share the same teachers for their other subjects.

As the day progressed, Phil worried more and more as he couldn’t share a private moment with the one person he really needed to. He loved Steve, of course he did! Did that mean he loved him like a- boyfriend or best friend? He’d always thought Steve was handsome and he was so smart and strong-willed. At one point, he was almost certain Steve was going to ask out Peggy Carter but it never happened (Phil missed every shot at practice that day) and he remembered him and Steve spending that whole weekend after that together. He supposed he was relieved about the whole Peggy thing and Phil never really thought about dating because he was so focussed at school and getting a basketball scholarship; and because he’d always had Steve. _That kiss_. His first _real_ kiss, if you didn’t count Melinda May when they were in second grade but he ran away before she could get her cooties anywhere near him. With Steve, it felt… it felt right. Like a long wait was finally over or some sort of puzzle piece slotted in place at last. Did Steve feel that? Or was Phil watching too many rom-coms with his mom?

“What’s up Coulson? Haven’t heard a pun or dumb joke all morning?” Stark spewed as he scoffed a second helping of tater tots from Bruce’s plate where they sat at their usual table in the cafeteria.

“Nothin’. What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run?”

Disgusting food sounds that aren’t even words escape from Tony and Phil cringes before throwing out the punchline tiredly.

“ _A small medium at large_ ,”

“Cute.” Bruce smiled pitifully in Phil’s direction before Tony dug at Phil further with less food in his mouth this time.

“No seriously, what is wrong Philip, my not-so-stoic men in black creeper?” Phil rolled his eyes non-subtly, eyes dangerously landing on Steve who was having an in depth discussion with Natasha about drawing her while she performed. Tony had been calling Phil variations of secret agents for the past two years after their freshman formal where he wore an all-black suit and sunglasses because the sun was still shining painfully outside in the unusual Chicago heat-wave.

“I said, _nothing_.”

“Ooh! Something happen between you and lover boy?” Phil’s gaze snapped angrily to Tony before he kicked him in the shin, _hard._ Trust Tony-blind-to-anyone-but-himself-Stark to notice the silence between him and Steve.

“Nothing happened! Steve is my best friend so leave him alone,” Phil whispered harshly, hoping Steve hasn’t noticed them.

“Just _best friend_ , huh?” Tony jiggled his eyebrows as he whispered back.

“Yeah! What else would we be?”

“Wait are you _serious_?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“We thought you were dating, if not screwing!?” Tony near shouted before Phil covered his mouth and smiled gently at a very confused Steve looking his way.

“Shut up! We’ve never dated! Or-o-or _screwed._ What are you talking about?”

“That’s why we thought Steve turned down Carter? Said he was seeing someone else. The only person Steve ‘sees’ is _you_ Phil?” Phil sits, stunned and without words to say to Tony Stark for the first time in two years.

“I-Uh…. I gotta go,” Phil blushes heavily and grabs his bag, rushing towards the gym to get changed into his gear. Not looking back at Steve’s dropped face as he never spoke a word to his best friend over lunch, or uttered a stupid pun in goodbye, for the first time in _six years_. Phil really was having a lot of firsts that day.

“Wha’d you do, Tony?” Steve glared in his cousin’s direction. Tony’s father Howard was a sort of Uncle to him although Tony and he never seemed eye to eye, Steve and Tony usually fought like brothers but stood together like soldiers in the end up.

“Nothing! I swear on my science bro’s life!”

“Hey!”

“Dammit. I’ll see you guys later,” Steve had his own thinking to do. With a major piece of art due within the next month and Natasha still on the ropes, he hadn’t been able to think about his best friend. At first, he thought that was a good thing, not to dwell on a mistake, but now Phil hasn’t spoken a word or even a joke to him all day and that hurt like his chest did after some of his worst attacks.

He needed a plan, somewhere mostly neutral and comfortable where they could be alone and figure all of this out. He couldn’t lose another best friend; technically he hadn’t lost Buck but he didn’t see him much either and if he and Phil didn’t see each other at all because of Steve’s stupid actions then he’d never forgive himself. Steve decided that he’d watch Phil practice with the team after school this evening like he did once a week anyway and grab him before he left the gym.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Phil was his team’s number one point guard, his slightly smaller stature and fast speed allowed him incredible agility on the court; if he was open he could make any pass or shot on target with his uncanny aim and intelligent thinking. Steve had been so proud of him when he made first choice on the team for point guard against some of the older boys; he, then, made it his mission to go to every game like Phil goes to his all of his art showings. They supported each other in every aspect of their lives and trusted each other to point out if the other was in the wrong. Watching Phil cool down from practice as the others hit the showers, Steve realised that _that kiss_ wasn’t a mistake. They were never a _mistake_ and Phil trusted him to point that out or at least be honest with him because he loved Phil… He _loved_ Phil. He didn’t date Peggy because he didn’t feel comfortable doing it and the thought of her kissing him made his stomach flip in ways that made him almost sick. Phil and his ridiculous jokes, non-stop puns, basketball arms and smartass personality even with his Captain America obsession had Steve hooked from day one…

Steve leaped down the steps of the gym’s stands at the realisation, making his way over to Phil who stood at the opposite end of the court with a ball in hand.

“Before you say anything, one question. Will you date me? Blink if yes, make a full-court shot if no.” Phil grinned and winked before Steve rolled his eyes at his adorkable best friend, taking the basketball, letting it drop weakly and leaning into Phil’s space.

“I missed.”

“That’s a yes then…” Phil smiled nervously as they locked eyes once more, Phil having to look down ever so slightly as he always seemed to be that bit taller than Steve.

No words would do and Steve initiated their second ever kiss. A little more wet and a little less nervous, Phil let his hands enclose around Steve’s trim waist as Steve’s hands left Phil’s arms to loop around his neck as their bodies touched each other from head to toe. Breaking every so often for breath before finally resting their foreheads together before Steve ran out of breath altogether, the thought made him smile gingerly.

“I like you a lottle. It’s like a little, only a lot…” Phil smiled largely as he caught Steve’s smile widen and his body shake with laughter.

“Yeah, well, I _a-door_ you,” Steve grinned and nodded his head towards the gym’s entrance before Phil burst out into full chuckles as Steve usually never gave in to his pun-tastic games. Phil wrapped his bes- _boyfriend_ tightly in his arms before coach barged in and chucked them out for the day.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Since that amazing day, their relationship only got stronger and Phil’s jokes brought a goofier smile to Steve’s face. The only real difference was the fantastic make-out sessions pretty much every evening. They told their parents after a week of dating, who congratulated them and sat them both down privately for a ‘talk’; whereas Jake chose to tease them ruthlessly but Phil just pulled out some golden blackmail material if he ever took it too far. Bucky had been hinting to Steve about it for years but Steve never even realised until they told Buck and he whooped with joy running around saying ‘finally’.

This continued for two years, until the final game of the season, Phil’s chance at a scholarship rode on what he did and how he played on this night.

“Hey, wha’d’ya call an alligator in a vest? An _investigator_ …” Steve grinned as Phil turned around to greet him, laughing quietly.

“Hey, baby, thank you for that,” Phil’s grin softened as he took Steve in his arms, holding him as he fit perfectly against him. Both being eighteen, they’d pretty much reached their full height with Steve still being just that much shorter than Phil, even if it was less prominent than before. Neither of them had ever really said it but they both loved that little bit of difference; Steve felt safe and protected where Phil felt strong and capable of protecting the one he loved, just like Captain America would. Over the past two years neither boy had the courage to actually tell each other they loved them between SATs, Phil’s Dad’s accident and a new set of school bullies being less than enthusiastic about their relationship; they’d certainly had challenges but stuck together through it all.

“Don’t be nervous. You’ll go out there and kick ass like always, I know it!” Steve reassured his boyfriend, giving him a squeeze before moving back a bit.

“I know, it’s just different…. I-…”

“Tell me a joke,”

“Huh?”

“Tell me a joke. I know if you concentrate your mind on something else you’ll calm down a bit and since we can’t really make out back here, _tell me a joke,_ ” Steve smirked as Phil’s face reddened from its previous pale pallor. Nobody would believe Phil if he told them how much of a dirty mind Steve-purer-than-snow-Rogers had; not that they’d done much about it anyway.

“Okay… What do you call a fake noodle?”

“An _im-pasta_. C’mon, you’ve already told me that! Don’t tell me you, Phil-never-without-a-pun-Coulson, has run out of puns?!” Steve made an exaggerated shocked look before Phil covered his mouth with his hand.

“Fine then. What kinda shoes do ninja’s wear? _Sneakers.”_ Steve just rolled his eyes as Phil’s hand was still covering his mouth, and he crossed his arms as if to say ‘that _really_ wasn’t good enough’.

“Tough crowd…. I submitted ten puns to a pun contest, hoping one would win, right? Unfortunately, _no pun in ten did_ …” Phil raised his eyebrows, before removing his hand from Steve’s mouth awaiting his reaction. As he did, Steve burst out into laughter, leaning into Phil’s chest before surging up and kissing him deeply.

“For luck… Now go out there and win,” Phil smiled gratefully, kissing Steve’s cheek before jogging out onto the court.

Steve made his way through the crowds in the stands, finally spotting his mom and Phil’s family in their usual seats. He took the open spot next to Jacob and crossed his fingers, barely able to keep his own nerves at bay the whole game.

Within the final minutes, the score was at 64 to 78 in the home team’s favour. It was obvious they would win and Steve knew that because he’d been to every match and they’d only lost three all year. With the seconds ticking down, Phil was a champion but his scholarship was still undecided.

The ball was passed to Phil, dribbling it closer to the three pointer line before jumping and shooting as the final whistle blew, his eyes landing on Steve, his number one fan. The crowd were on their feet, Steve’s couldn’t breathe as the ball swished comfortably into the net for a twenty point win. The crowds of fans were cheering, rushing to their kids or siblings as Steve tried to scramble his way through the crowds. Phil found him first, picked him up and spun him around.

“Caught you off ‘ _guard’_?” Phil mumbled in Steve’s ear over the noise of the crowd and Steve choked on laughter and happy tears.

“I love you… so much!” Steve shouted back at Phil, still holding each other but able to see the other’s face.

“I-I love you too, always have…” Phil pulled Steve in, colliding their lips as they kissed with a passion neither had shared before, in a packed high school gymnasium with their parents not twenty feet away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Fifteen years on and Phil and Steve haven’t changed much. Well, _they_ haven’t but everything around them has; with being married since they were 24 and having two kids with a third on the way, you could say they were busy.

Steve had carried on his artistic passions and previewed his art all over the world whereas Phil’s dream was short lived after a nasty arm break left his basketball career in the wind but due to his crazy organisation and work-out techniques, he was the manager of his own personal and public security organisation that worked with celebrities, FBI and homeland security from time to time. While they travelled a lot in the early years of their marriage, they have now officially settled in New York, next door to Bucky actually and Tony was only a couple of blocks away, haphazardly running Stark Industries.  

Their two sons, Oliver and Milo were twin five year olds by surrogacy from Tony’s amazing girlfriend, and one of Phil’s best friends, Pepper Potts. They were loud but polite and energetic but very intelligent due to having both Pepper and Phil’s genes after both men figured they didn’t really want to put a child through some of Steve’s horrible childhood illness. Even now, Pepper was pregnant again with a little girl, they couldn’t decide between Kaia and Lila but they had two months to decide.

Amidst all this, Phil couldn’t help but think back to the time he ‘fell’ for his husband, pun intended. That day had changed the course of Phil’s life, he found his first love and made it his last…


	4. First Child - Rhodeson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being away so long but it's not going to get any better with being back at school. Thanks for reading and keep in touch.

Being a dad was tough. Constantly worrying you were being too soft or too stern, too clingy or too distant. Being a dad to a mutant was a whole other scale…

Phil Coulson was an only child who yearned for a sibling to interact with, especially when his father died at age nine and he was there to pick up his mother’s broken heart. Choosing to join the Marine Corps after his mother passed when he was twenty seemed like the necessary thing to do; no one to leave behind and no one left worrying either. He always looked up to Captain America if not fantasised about him, so why not be like him? Phil thanked his stars every day since then that he did; for within that first week at boot camp, he met his future husband, James Rupert ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes.

James Rhodes was a man of honour, principle and pride. Born in Philadelphia, he spent his time proving his worth within his school and on into his time as a United States Marine. His momma raised him right, with or without his father around, and he worked hard every day to provide for her as well as his older sister, Niya. He may have been raised in a house of women but he was no sissy; no matter how much he enjoyed baking or kittens, he was no weakling. That being said, he wasn’t one for breaking rules or guidelines, especially ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’, not for just anybody…

The moment Phil was pitted against Jim, something clicked. A bond no war zone could shake and no soldier could break. They were ruthless at hand to hand, both having background in contact sports and martial arts but they evened each other out. In the field, Jim was in the sky, watching over his man on the ground, Phil’s efficiency outshone any other ground marksmen. They were an unbeatable team and everyone took a shot at mentioning it, even saying that their ‘girlfriends’ must feel left out. Truth was, Phil trusted Jim with his life and his secrets, being gay was a large one that he hadn’t told anyone and Jim just smiled, shrugged and kissed him full on the lips.

Being gay in the Marine Corps at the time was a less enthusiastic time, hence the fake girlfriends. As their relationship progressed, so did their ranks. Phil made Sergeant as Jim made Colonel and this is where Nick Fury, marriage and children come into the loop…

 

* * *

 

 Being in the back-ass desert of some unreasonably hot country under heavy gunfire was one thing, being all that plus hauling your badly injured boyfriend alone to a rendezvous point four kilometres away to a guy they know only as ‘Fury’; _that_ is a pain in Phil’s ass.

Of course the one time Jim’s on the actual ground fight, he chooses to get injured.

“ _I did not choose to get injured!”_

“Well, it _certainly looked like it_ , the way you _dove in front of me_!”

“If it _hit you_ it was _killing you_!”

“It wasn’t going to _hit me_!”

“Yes it was, _Philip_!”

“Don’t _first name_ me!”

“I can _first name_ you all I want, _I love you_!”

“Yeah? Well _I love you too_ and I’m hauling your ass out of here so I can _marry it already_!”

“…Yeah?” Jim finally stopped shouting, trying to comprehend Phil’s last words, although their argument seemed like normal tones amongst the continuous war zone noise. Phil stopped once he realised he finally did it, he finally proposed… sort of…

“Yeah. That okay?” Phil met Jim’s eyes, hands stilling from their constant checking of his last rifle.

“Definitely.” Jim nodded, a large smirk cracking through his face as Phil smiled back, a little piece of happiness in one of the most violent places on the planet.

“Then, take this and get ready to move, we’ve got a wedding to plan,” Phil grinned, unlatching the ring his Dad had before he died, placing it in Jim’s hand before checking their vantage points.

“So I say two kids but I’m sure you can convince me of more if you want?” Jim winked at Phil’s wide-eyed face before their opportunity arrived and they finally made the final distance to their rendezvous.

“Ain’t that a pretty sight for sore fuckin’ eyes…? Thought I lost my best new recruits. Get your crazy asses in my chopper, we got shit to do…” Was all Fury said as Phil half carried Jim onto the chopper, holding his hand and whispering him dirty jokes to keep his _fiancé_ from passing out on the ride back to base camp.

No one ever mentioned the ring on Jim’s finger because the moment he was cleared from the hospital wing, Fury had the couple back on one of his planes to the US with a whole other idea in mind.

 

* * *

 

 

“Honey-bear! You’re home! Finally! Pep won’t stop with the paperwork and Happy refuses to let me try him in the ring without gloves and nobody ever listens to me and- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT RING?!” Tony Stark was a man Phil considered a friend… of sorts.

Tony went to high school with Jim before he joined the Corps, Tony was twelve but Jim had a soft spot for the little hellion that never really left. Tony had latched onto Rhodey like a leach with a new form of life on pump; a sounding board or sibling he’d never been blessed with before. Phil respected the relationship and Tony, but he did not enjoy the touchy feely hugs and kisses or nicknames; which Tony now knew about and teased him for relentlessly.

Arriving back stateside was one thing but not even mentioning the engagement on the phone beforehand seemed to set Tony off just a little; Phil didn’t even give off a whiff of his overwhelming smugness bubbling up from inside. He had won, James was his to treasure and love and protect; or he will be.

“It’s an engagement ring, Tones. Phil asked and I said yes…” There was a terrifying silence as Jim explained before Tony let out a high pitched wail.

“OMIGOD THAT IS THE MOST AMAZING NEWS EVER! SERGEANT PHILLY WELCOME TO THE FAMILY YOU JEALOUS, TERRIFYING, CREATURE YOU!” Phil sighed before the rest of his breath was stolen from him in Tony’s hug, Phil smiled softly, and hugging back as James blushed beside him.

With the other news that they would be staying on US soil also being shared, Tony felt that that day was worthy of a holiday and was very close to getting one commissioned before James asked him to be best-man and everything spiralled out of proportion as Tony’s ideas increased and enlarged; rapidly. Fury had asked them to join his super-secret organisation as both trainers and high level agents without the constant moving around or danger as well as their marriage to think of, the idea appealed heavily to them both.

Only being in their mid-twenties and veterans of a sort, money wasn’t exactly lying around but with Tony Stark as a best friend, they organised a reasonable event within six months and were married. It was a small ceremony in one of Tony’s backyards with Jim’s family, their friends and a few marine colleagues who knew about them. It was homey and intimate and perfect; it took a lot to tone down, well, Tony. Phil didn’t think he’d ever been happier or seen Jim’s face so bright and vowed to keep it that way as best he could for the rest of his life.

 

* * *

 

 

Jim was the one who brought up children in the first place. Obviously, they couldn’t do it themselves but there were a lot of other options. As they had been working with SHIELD over two years and married eighteen months, they’d felt comfortable enough to start discussing their family.

Phil said Pepper could be a viable option for surrogacy, adoption was always open but something they both really loved the idea of was having a child with their DNA, something tangibly theirs that couldn’t be taken away. This came with having Jim’s sister become a surrogate with Phil’s sperm; the perfect idea, right?

Kind of.

Niya was totally on-board and glad to help her brother with whatever he needed, although being pregnant was a literal pain. Somewhere between getting pregnant and giving birth, their beautiful daughter’s genes shifted, mutated. At the birth of their daughter, Jim and Phil stood and held Niya’s hand through the fourteen hour labour; at 11:02pm on December 31st, Ororo Coulson-Rhodes was born. She had the perfect little coffee-coloured skin with blue-green eyes the Doctor’s said would turn brown later and little tuffs of brown hair with strands of white. That was the first clue.

Phil and Jim were so in love with their little girl, any little oddity was overlooked for the moment, although that wouldn’t last very long. After three months of being at home in their brown stone house, they realised Ororo really didn’t like the cold, or enclosed spaces like her car-seat, if she couldn’t see them. She was constantly being bundled up and paid attention to when the first incident happened.

Phil had been making dinner in the kitchen, Ororo held against his chest by a baby carrier, a mini Marine Corps tracksuit keeping her warm, which allowed her to watch her daddy but sleep tight against him if she wished. Jim was working late at flight stimulations with the ducklings which left Phil with some alone time with his little Oreo. It would have been a peaceful evening if a sudden lightning storm hadn’t erupted, not strong enough to take out their fuses but bad enough to wake Ororo and frighten her to tears. As soon as Phil calmed his baby girl’s terrified screams, the sun was out blazing in the sky, ‘odd’. Phil told his husband once he finally arrived home later that night of the strange weather but Jim said the sun was out all evening at HQ.

The next incident was when Jim took Ororo out for a day at the park when she was a little over five months old; Phil had a new and supposedly insubordinate sniper to break in so he couldn’t join them. Ororo seemed to be really enjoying the bugs that flew above her little body in the shade where Jim had set up a blanket for his little ‘Ro. Out of nowhere, the sky was covered in dark clouds, pelting rain and thunder shook the park; it almost drowned out Ororo’s painful cries. Jim lofted her into his arms, they were barely covered by the tree overhead; he shushed her and checked her diaper but she wouldn’t stop crying until he spotted an angry looking bump on her arm. He’d dressed her in a pair of dungarees and a t-shirt with the warmer weather and had taken off her little jacket in fear she’d overheat but it seemed the bare skin was a target for a summer wasp. His heart ached for his precious girl, stung by a wasp, all the while being stuck in a wet thunder storm; he cleared up quickly and bolted for the car. The storm seemed to follow them home as did Ororo’s tears, even though the news was reporting clear skies and sun across the New York area. Finally making it home he took Ororo inside and applied vinegar to her sting, after a few more moments, she quieted and so did the raging storm outside; rather suddenly, too. When Jim explained it to Phil, he said it sounded similar to what had happened those weeks before but neither man thought much more of it until the third incident…

 

 

* * *

 

 

For the first time since their daughter was born, they both had missions to complete, overnight. Phil had finally proven himself trustworthy to his scarily accurate marksman, Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, and their first mission was a simple assassination but of course it was in Rio. That same day, Jim was handed an urgent flyover of New Mexico with strange sightings being spotted in the desert. Nick apologised as best he could for taking them from their daughter, meaning he said “She’s like six months old! She’ll not remember, I’ll take care of her, no time for bullshit nannies,” and that was that.

Nick Fury was a man of patience, unlike what other people thought, he could sit and wait for a suspect to break however long he needed to. Surely, this would apply to childcare; wash her, feed her, dress her, change her and put her to sleep. Not difficult in Fury’s book. It wasn’t until he put her in her baby carrier while he stood on the phone with some very infuriating (no pun intended) politicians that the real shit started.

“An’ I’m tellin’ YOU _not to do it_! We’ve got this covered, _keep your shit outta mine_ -“ Nick’s rant was interrupted by a loud scream from the baby carrier which turned into loud wails and coughs and tears and snot as he tried to finish the phone call as Ororo cried on but gave up as he felt wetness on his neck. If Barton had planted another water balloon in his ceiling, he’s on clean-up duty for a year…

Turning around as he slammed down the phone, heading to the baby, he was caught in some rain… some literal rain, from his ceiling on the 42nd floor of a full-proof secret building… Ororo’s wails finally reminded him she was stuck in the middle of the _fucking rain_ and he rushed over. However, she was dry as anything while his jacket dripped onto his carpet and her tears slowly quieted as Nick rocked her and the rain disappeared. Fury hoped to any God that there wasn’t a hidden 0-8-4 that decided now would be a great time to attack him with _rain_ of all things; Phil and Jim would _kill him_ if anything happened to their daughter. Once Ororo had settled fully, he placed her back in the carrier, turning around only for her to start crying again and thunder to erupt from somewhere in his ceiling. Then, Nick had an idea…

“Okay munchkin, let’s test somethin’ out...” Nick lifted her into his arms out of the carrier, she sniffled quietly and the thunder was silenced. He placed her back in the carrier alone, turned his back and counted to ten, thunder erupted once more and he turned around to face the little girl who quieted again as she saw she wasn’t alone. Oh boy, his agents were gonna have a handful with this one. Nick decided to wait on the testing and scans until Phil and Jim got back and they’d take it from there but to him it looked like his little niece of sorts was a mutant with incredible powers.

 

* * *

 

Of course, as soon as Phil, Jim and Clint arrived home there were many loud and panicked discussions. With Clint’s new-found trust and companionship in Phil, he gave them every piece of information he had on Charles Xavier and his mutant students from back when he was thirteen, half-frozen and some guy with cat hair and claws sniffed him out and took him to the mansion for the night. He’d taken off by morning to find Barney but not before he’d made out his own conclusions of the house full of kids cared for by the guy in a wheelchair.

After Ororo tested positive for the x-gene, they decided to visit Professor Xavier for his opinion on the matter as SHIELD was still behind on such technologies and advancements. Once there, and fully demonstrated on to prove a point of sorts, Charles informed them of the great power Ororo held and what may come of her whether they were ex-military or not. With all this in mind, they took every piece of advice they could and applied it at home as well as taking Ororo to the school for training once a month until she could talk when she began pre-school there.

Within these years, SHIELD became a more informed and empowered company, a new initiative was put in place, a new team to fight the fight no mere humans could, nor mutants with the many political and controversial strikes on their kind. It started with Tony, like it always does…

Tony got kidnapped. Not an unusual circumstance but this time it was Afghanistan and he didn’t come back. Rhodey was deadly and desperate, Phil barely got a call from him and he couldn’t up and leave their 18 month old daughter alone to travel to an active war zone. It was a rough time for their family but Tony came home, with a few changes to say the least. His interest in Ororo certainly heightened and Clint was all for the war of the uncles and Natasha Romanoff’s addition to Strike Team Delta made her ‘Ro’s favourite tea party guest. Tony’s new heart replacement was a touchy subject but not as touchy as the ‘suit’, the reason for the initiative. A top of the range military man-made and controlled weapon; Stark’s finest. Except for once in his life, Tony didn’t sell it, rack up the stocks, ignore the paperwork and party three weeks straight. He shut down any weapon making and took the stolen machines personally causing Rhodey to take charge of a military target on his back over illegal waters and just about save his life.

Next came Banner, the human rage machine with the power to wreck any large city in sight. Followed by more Tony and James’ supposed competition, Steve Rogers. Well, you really can’t tell Captain America no and he really can’t bare Phil’s painful admiration either. Then the real danger hits, _Gods_ , Thor the almighty Norse God of Thunder. At this point Phil had taken up the mantel on the newly named ‘Avengers Initiative’ and Jim was grounded with a now walking, talking and wrecking Ororo whose favourite climbing frame consisted of Thor, Sif and The Warrior’s Three who had ‘powers’ just like her. When they left their was sadness but also hyper awareness as to what may come next and what Thor had left behind was nothing if not hyper.

Now comes the nasty bit. Phil died and Ororo caused a 4.2 earthquake and James punches Phil; _hard_.

You see, no-one ever really explained how Ororo developed the x-gene. It could have been a deformity in the womb, it could have been outside sources or it could have been part of her original DNA make-up. The Rhodes family had no history of mutants or strange deaths and disappearances. The Coulson family was made up of Phil, that’s it, his Dad’s death was said to be a car accident and his Mom had terminal cancer, right?

Some people’s mutation shows at birth, some in youth and some shows when certain conditions are met or created. Phil Coulson’s mutation was one of the third, his ability to heal quickly; not immortality and not repair bone structures in a few seconds, it’s more like getting stabbed in the chest and healing over two or three days. Which was what happened and what he did.

When they found out, Ororo broke, she couldn’t fully comprehend never seeing her Daddy again, as four and a half year olds struggled to do, but the idea that Thor’s brother hurt her Daddy, _that_ was a major no-no. James barely held on for her never mind himself but two days later in the middle of another tantrum, Clint Barton drags a weary Phil through the front door and Phil…

“It hit me this time…” he half smiles. James punches him in the face and hauls him close, only letting go to gather Ororo into their laps, not letting up for an hour as Clint curls up on the armchair with Natasha and Tony stumbles his way in with a big smile on his face with “Bruce Banner this…” and “Bruce Banner that…”.

By the time it’s all over and everyone’s alive and well, Ororo just wants to go back to school already and tell everyone all about how her Daddy’s a mutant just like her and her Pops’ punched him in the face and Uncle Tony’s in love with the Hulk.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Being a mutant never really annoyed Ororo, sure she was different but she didn’t let it weigh her down or keep her from making friends; mutant and human alike. Going to school at Professor Xavier’s certainly helped with that and Phil and Jim were unbelievably proud of their daughter. Her friends, which are likely to change on any given day as six year old’s do, include Scott Summers, Jean Grey and Kurt Wagner. Each child had their own gift but after years of it, Phil was rarely shocked anymore; their apartment was weather proofed, bullet proofed and under deep SHIELD security as mutants were still seen as unknown and dangerous minorities.

As self-appointed ‘Fun Uncle’, Tony was just as involved at teaching and watching over ‘Ro as her Dads, including organising a Birthday party at a fully rented out Disneyland theme park for her seventh birthday. Phil and Jim of course, thought this was too much but at this point there was no stopping Tony and Ororo would only cause a thunderstorm at the upset of it all.

Fully booked out it may be, there was still park workers and of course everyone Ororo wanted invited from school as well as all her aunts and uncles. And, of course then, one of the very few park workers actually working that day had to have an opinion.

“That’s not very lady-like…” the worker says to Ororo has she pretends to wave her toy Mjolnir as she’s decided to dress as Thor for her fancy dress party unlike some of the other girls’ princess dresses. All the adults groan individually as they see Ororo whip around, raise Mew-Mew and shout;

“Suck my ass…” while summoning some thunder from the skies. Phil shakes his head, trying to hold back laughter for the third time something like this has happened and he feels rather than sees his husband go red before apologising profusely and leading ‘Ro, Clint and Tony off for another conversation on ‘Dealing with idiots correctly’.   
As Phil looks around and watches the family he’s found and made, he feels complete like something was missing this whole time finally slotted in. Feeling his husband kiss his cheek and hold his hand in reassurance that their daughter and her uncles have been thoroughly warned this time, James doesn’t bother to hold back my smile and neither does Phil.


	5. First Move - PhiLoki

Prison wasn’t as terrible as everyone seemed to think it was.

His mom smacked him silly and then bawled her eyes out in the middle of the courtroom, his dad rolled his eyes and walked out the back before the cameras found him and his older sister promised to visit every week (4 months, no sign of her). Tony paid his way to an upscale penitentiary considering it was kind of his fault Phil was in prison in the first place and Steve and Clint, being his best friends, of course offered to watch his dog and his luxury penthouse apartment while he was incarcerated. If they had sex in his kitchen, he’ll fumigate the whole building; although at this rate he’d probably have to downsize quite a bit anyway.

An upscale prison, it certainly was. A Garden of Eden with a variety of plants, a library with everything from encyclopaedias to graphic novels and Phil’s favourite place was the entertainment area which was filled with chess boards and tables. It was difficult to find a matched opponent but it kept him sane and he made some friends; if you could call them that.

“How very dull of you…” the smug tones accentuated by a vaguely British accent sent shivers to Phil’s bones as he awaited his partner’s move.

“We’ve played this every other day for a month, it can’t all be high stakes excitement,” Phil replied as the raven-haired man captures his pawn using the en passant rule, smiling darkly.

“And still, there has yet to be a victor,” he grumbled as Phil started his counter attack on the board.

“One day there will, in the meantime I’d say you were enjoying yourself,” Phil smiled calmly as the other inmate met his eyes and glared.

“I thoroughly disagree with that opinion,” grumbling once more, he moved his pawn in defence.

“Okay, what if I said that the only time I’ve seen you speak or attempt to smile was at me. Even before, I’d see your brother and mother visit you, you didn’t spare a word to them. Some of the junkies on block twelve jumped you the week before we started playing, I was on med-ward duty, you didn’t speak up or fight back; although they seemed to get what was coming to them. Do I want to know where you got the laxatives?” Phil kept his eyes on the game the entire time, back half of his brain formulating his next move and front half clinging to dear life through this discussion. Where it was going, Phil doesn’t know if he wants to find that out either.

Loki seemed intelligent, untrustworthy, untrusting and dangerous. He never spoke, he never fought, he never laughed, cried or ate a full meal. One month and neither man had discussed what brought them here, why they deserved prison time and a record but were able to pay their dues in what was essentially a four star resort for the criminal. Three months watching this angry twenty something with the shoulder length hair as dark as a void and skin as pale as milk and Phil was hooked. Loki _was_ incredibly intelligent, _definitely_ not trustworthy, untrusting of everyone around him and dangerous towards them too; except Phil.

“You know where I got them. You are… not _entirely_ boring but compared to these bumbling fools, as well as the people known as my _family_ , you are quite enrapturing.” Loki admitted gazing at the top of Phil’s head and then dodging eye contact when Phil finally looks up in surprise.

“I think I’m blushing,”  Phil continued to smile warmly at his opponent even as Loki tried to cringe his own blush away while rolling his eyes at the older man. Without realising it, neither man had made a move on the board in near ten minutes but Phil had been thinking about this move for almost four months, time to take his King.

“Scott Lang. Colleague of mine. Tony Stark. Better friend than I thought; got me a place here rather than Rikers, he asked us to do it, his company was in control of most of the dirty money, and he had to fix it. White collar crime; fraud, corrupt bankers and liars giving me their money to get _more_ money instead of paying back the people they scammed. Hypocritical, I know, but Scott’s a friend, the cause was just and he has a kid. I take the fall, he tries again later and stupidly takes the fall for some low-life cat-burglar he employed who fucked up. I get three years, eighteen months for good behaviour and he gets five, out of San Quentin in four and a divorce.” Phil explains his backstory, this time keeping a steady tone and eye contact with Loki and Loki doesn’t budge. Most of the men in here exaggerate and lie, creating fake stories as to why they’re here but it’s as mind-numbing as watching a dick-measuring contest; nobody comes out a winner because how can you be a winner if you’ve got your pants around your ankles?               

Loki was different, something about him struck Phil, made him feel curious and needy like an unknown bind was pulling them ever closing together even if he knew he’d probably get stabbed in the heart by the end of it. It was never going to end well, Loki was in prison for a reason and Phil knew he needed to know but he didn’t _want_ to.

“Self-sacrificing fool. Your so-called friends ask you to commit a felony, you do so, get caught and surrender so your other so-called friend can keep his family except; he’s more of an idiot than you are so, he gets caught yet again and his family moves on without him. The only reason you belong here is because you’re criminally idiotic.” Loki fumes, cheeks burning with anger and discontent, his eyes blazing into Coulson’s pale blues.

“I’m sorry my sacrifice has made you so upset but it was my choice and I don’t see why you think your opinion will change anything. If you’re such a profound genius how on earth did you get stuck here then?” Phil tried to keep his calm but Loki’s words stung something in his very core.

“Hah. I am hardly _stuck_ here in this cesspool; I could escape, kill myself, kill everyone else…”

“Then why don’t you?” Phil’s eyes watered at Loki’s response for reasons he didn’t want to claw at just yet.

“Like you said, it was _my choice_ … Ever wonder why my _step-father_ never accompanies my family on their visits? My name was Malachi Ross until Odin Borson stole me from my father, I became Loki Odinson, the little brother of Thor Odinson, and heir to Asgard Industries and Company. A billion dollar company originating from Norway but major distributor to your home land.”

“I’ve heard of them. Why would he do that though? What happened?” Phil leaned closer to the unusually vulnerable man across from him.

“My biological father was Thaddeus Ross, a prominent military man and advocate for scientific experimentation. I was his only spawn, my mother died in childbirth and I was a very poorly child. I became his very own experiment, from what I discovered, he cured my asthma, colds, and reflux but not without mistakes. I developed forms of mutation, my skin was irreparably damaged in some areas, my hair was originally blonde and my eyes brown. He-He _cared_ for me, he tried to cure it but Odin was a business partner visiting, he found the illegal laboratories. He shut them down, ripped me from my own father’s clutches and threw him in a cell at the other end of the world.” Loki’s tears finally dripped over onto his cheeks, he clutched tightly at his forearm when describing the events as though it still physically hurt. Phil acted on instinct, he placed his hand over Loki’s, squeezing them gently.

“But… He- Odin _saved_ you,” Phil pleaded.

“ _He did not!_ He tore away my only remaining family, removed my name, pitted me against a brother that would always win and expected me to respect him, _trust_ him. He lied to me and stole from me all a child could hold dear. Not even allowing me to visit my father after I was cruelly ridiculed and found the truth to my creation; not by _his_ mouth or by _his_ choice but my mother’s. Frigga was the only mother I knew, taught me chess and to read but it was _she_ who had to break my black heart once more; Odin was gifting his only _true_ son with the company he raised from the ground. I was to sit by Thor and watch him run it to the ground while Odin lay on the sandy escape of Spain. I was finished with letting that man steal from me what I truly deserved…” Loki had snatched away his hands, gritting his teeth and staring at the chess board once more. Phil’s gut clenched harshly as the many possibilities ran through his mind as to the demise of Odin Borson.

“I stole his sports car and his bulldog, Heimdall, drove to Brooklyn and sold them off to buy into his competitors stocks before handing myself in to my mother as the police hunted me down for theft and dognapping.”

“Are you serious?” Phil gripped the ends of the table, mouth agape, guts churning.

“Yes. Why would I lie about such a thing?” Loki asked, his face shockingly innocent and a little frightened as Phil jumped up and pulled him out of his chair. The security guards looked on as two of their least disruptive inmates hugged in the middle of a chess match.

“Thank God. I- You didn’t crush up glass and put it in his sandwich every day for a year then burn down every building he owned with the workers still inside!” Phil exclaimed, holding the skinny man close, hugging him and laughing giddily in relief.

“What-Why? Philip, I would never kill anyone!” Loki exclaimed, unaware he was hugging Coulson back just as much.

“I just- You were so upset and angry, I wasn’t sure. I could never read you, not really. I’m just really glad,” Phil loosened his hold ever so slightly, allowing him to look into Loki’s eyes. Both men were of similar height although Phil was stockier especially compared to Loki’s almost anorexic frame.

Phil was still smiling, and Loki wasn’t exactly sure how to take the news that his only… friend, thought him capable of mass murder but if Philip was happy he guessed he could be too, especially when he leaned in and their lips connected.

Everything was on fire, he was so happy and all of a sudden he was kissing Loki, holding him tight and everything cooled as though Loki was his melting point. When they finally broke apart, Loki’s eyes remained closed as Phil gently caressed his cheek and clutched at his hand.

“Oi! Break it up! C’mon!” The harsh words reverberated through the pair as they moved away from each other before the jackass guard, Rumlow, did it forcibly.

“Was that okay?” Phil worried.

“That was wonderful.” Loki blushed once more.

“I never asked, do you _want_ to be called Loki?”

“I-I-No-one ever asked me before. I never knew I could choose. I am used to the name but it was chosen for me to hide who I truly was, I don’t want to hide that from you,” Loki assured him, placing his hand over Phil’s allowing Phil to see the outline of Ross’ mistake, the blue tinging to his skin of his arm. Phil’s heart thudded and he was never so glad to be sent to prison as he folded his hand around his partner’s.

“So how about I don’t use either name, how about a nickname like Mal instead of Malachi?” Phil suggested.

“I think I would like that,” Loki smiled once more before remembering, “how about we play another game? I feel it’s your move.”

“Of course. You’re gonna lose,” Phil grinned and Loki smirked back.

“And why is that?”

“You lack conviction… and if I win you’re buying me dinner,” Phil joked once more as Loki made his move and the two inmates once again tried to beat each other at a game neither would lose as long as they had each other.

 


	6. First Detention - IronAgent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is tendencies towards a violent Howard Stark in this story, it's not overly explicit but tell me if you think I should change any tags for warnings.  
> Keep kudos-ing and commenting! If you would like to see any ships or firsts let me know.

Tony had tons of friends, hundreds of them. Well, they seem to think they’re friends, especially when Tony invites them to his house for parties and expensive beer and the newest tech. Except when it comes to Tony dragging himself through the school corridor at gym period or hiding in his spot by the abandoned factory when his Dad didn’t bother to hide his drunken punches the night before; he can count the people on his hand that he’d trust with that and they wouldn’t look for anything just to sit and listen to him for an hour. There was Pepper; Virginia Potts, Senior class valedictorian, class president and go-to-gal; don’t really know what she saw in Tony other than his attractive ‘bad boy’ persona and power over the school staff with his parents’ bank account. She loves him a little bit and Tony would but he can’t lie to his precious Pep, she didn’t need his crap. Then came Natalia Romanova, Nat; why do all these gorgeously terrifying geniuses surround him, he doesn’t know either, pity maybe; she’s his big sister, so lay a finger on him and consider it broken in fourteen different places. And finally, and certainly not lastly, is his bestest friend in the whole galaxy; who just beats Rhodey because he’s gone away again to the stupid military academy; Philip J. Coulson. Phil was like Pep and Nat all rolled up into one, he was crazy smart but didn’t tend to flaunt it and super dangerous when it came to his family and friends and Tony loved him for it. Phil’d picked the scrawny new kid up off the dusty ground on the first day of freshmen and shook his hand firmly; expecting nothing but the truth and the best he could give. Yeah, Phil was _great_.

Phil didn’t look at him like a psycho when he explained his idea behind his first A.I, he didn’t treat him any different when he told him all those rumours through high school were a bunch of BS and didn’t blame him when he climbed through his window at three in the morning trying to play off a fractured wrist. He looked in awe as he heard JARVIS’ first words, he laughed off the gossip about Tony and some college girl from LA and wrapped Tony’s arm with the brace his little sister needed after ballet gone wrong one month and tucked him in next to himself all night. There was no one like Phil and Tony was just infinitely grateful Phil hadn’t realised there was so much better than him to hang around with.

That was until _he_ came…

 

* * *

 

 

Tony was insanely smart, the kind of kid you’d find three years past his grade and in MIT by sixteen. He would be, of course, a part from his Dad’s obvious envy of him, keeping his only son back from true glory because of misplaced anger from his wife’s death in childbirth. Well, Phil was no psychiatrist but he’d seen enough of Tony’s home-life and heard enough from his own mother as a nurse to put it all together. Tony didn’t deserve it, not one bit and he liked to believe he did because that was all he was told since he was born. Phil was just glad he didn’t have to combat this on his own, with Nat and Pepper by his side, Tony wouldn’t be alone any more.

He and Tony told each other everything, he told Tony he’d always be there for him and he would be but with his personality, Tony could overlook the small things and usually it would wind Phil up; like the Chemistry test he’d missed thinking that the new teacher wasn’t in yet but Tony’d forgot to tell him and that time he’d almost set fire to his Mom’s curtains after leaving Tony to make toast. There was one instance where Phil was thankful for Tony’s blindness, Phil’s love life. It’s not as though Phil needed any help but living in Wisconsin didn’t really lend a hand towards openly gay relationships, it was a small place filled with even smaller minds and Tony wasn’t like that but he didn’t really feel like he would understand either.

Well, that’s what he thought until _he_ arrived…

 

* * *

 

 

Thor and Loki Odinson were transfers from Norway hoping to finish up their studies quickly in the USA to join their father in his million-dollar company. Loki was stand-offish and a recluse, never spoke a word to Tony or Phil but his brother was something else. Thor managed to captain the football team within the first week of his arrival and smoothly wedged himself right between Phil and Tony in their little group. He was loud and brash and indescribably happy _all the time-_ he made Phil laugh and Tony _hated_ him.

Phil on the other hand enjoyed Thor’s weird social conventions and thought his puppy-like personality was a breath of fresh air in the depressing cesspool of their high school. Thor’s strange take on American customs made him laugh and his innocence reared up Phil’s protective streak; caught up in all this excitement, he never saw Tony.

“Wanna watch the new Star Wars in my home cinema?” Tony started off the week on a high note, he’d even bought Phil’s favourite donuts just to see his best friend a bit more.

“Sorry, Thor needs some extra tutoring,” Phil smiled at him, patted him on the shoulder and mentioned about another time.

“Cheap beer and Star Trek?” Tony attempted again the next day, eyes a little darker.

“Thor has a football game? You not coming?” Phil didn’t look up this time, catching up on homework. Tony thought he was doing that with Thor the night before?

“Wanna go out for lunch?” Tony didn’t even get to hear Phil’s answer this time as the very problem himself showed up.

“Ah! Friend-Tony, Son of Coul! My father has loaned me his mighty Jaguar, care for a ride?” Phil’s eyes glittered at the idea, he was always obsessed with cars considering his Dad and grandfather were mechanics but Tony preferred to make them so he shook his head and walked away without a word.

Tony didn’t try again the next day or at all the next week for that matter. Phil still applied make-up to the red slap marks and winced at his bruises but he never went straight to Tony and always saved a seat for Thor instead. Tony didn’t care, or that’s what he told himself.

Then he snapped.

 

* * *

 

 

It was just a normal Thursday at lunch. The girls were up queueing for food, Tony nibbled at his packed lunch, Thor scoffed down three burgers in front of him and Phil squeezed himself into the seat next to him with his normal tray of sandwiches and a coffee.

Thor openly smiled, grinned even, at the sight of the other boy; he couldn’t shout his happiness as his stupid face was stuffed so instead he wrapped a tanned muscly arm around Phil. Tony didn’t care, he wasn’t homophobic or anything or whatever. Then he squeezed Phil closer to him; Phil giggled, full out _giggled_ , and _BLUSHED AT HIM._ That did it.

Tony’s guts churned, his stomach boiled and his face showed it. With a heavy breath and a solemn look in his eye, he jumped the lunch table, scrabbling after Thor. Much to Phil’s surprise who was knocked to the ground in the scuffle, Thor didn’t lift a finger towards the angry rabbit punches he was receiving from Tony. Phil had enough brains in him to rip Tony off of the larger boy just in time to be caught by wayward members of staff and dragged to the detention room.

Seemingly only seeing Phil and Tony pawing at each other, the two teachers grabbed a boy each, leaving Thor red-faced but confused standing by their empty lunch table to explain to some very pissed of females what went wrong.

After being shoved down the corridor in silence and placed in a chair at opposite ends from each other, Phil and Tony didn’t even look at the other. Tony couldn’t believe what he’d just done to his best friend’s boyfriend, _he really was messed up_. Phil was in plain shock at his two best friends fighting for no good reason. The teachers, Mr Vision and Miss Carter were shocked at the students’ behaviour considering how close the two were, and neither were one for physical violence; it was, in fact, their first detention.

“What made you two begin a fight in a crowded lunch hall?” Vision asked solemnly in his brooding British accent.

Not a word or glance was shared and Miss Carter just shook her head, knowing these two could work it out, she trusted them, so she led her colleague out the door, shutting it behind them in hopes from finding the story out from a Mr Odinson.

Tony couldn’t stop the constant replay of Phil’s expressions in his head – Phil laughing with him, Phil laughing with Thor, _Phil blushing at Thor_ , Phil _mad at him_ …

Phil couldn’t put two and two together at this rate; how did Tony go from the least violent person he knew to suddenly attacking his friend?

Nearly half an hour later, both boys realising they were alone, Phil decided he was done trying to work it out himself; he always did things better with Tony by his side anyway.

“Why?” Hearing Phil speak first, Tony broke and interrupted.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry…” He whispered harshly, squeezing his eyes shut in shame.

“What for Tony? Why did you do that?” Phil finally looked over at him, he was shaken by what he noticed; it was obvious Tony hadn’t slept properly in days, the bruises were sneaking out from his t-shirt and his hair was a shaggy mess. When did this happen? Where was he?

“I swear I’m not a homophobe! If he makes you happy then that’s fine, that’s great even! I swear it is! Please forgive me Phil! I’m sorry,” Tony pleaded, looking at the blank blackboard instead of Phil.

“What? Tony, Thor and I aren’t dating! I know you’re not homophobic, you know I’d forgive you anything as long as it’s the truth but _why_ , Tony?”

“I-I dunno. I never saw you anymore and he made you laugh and b-blush…” Tony shrugged, unaware of Phil blushing once more and getting up to move to the empty chair next to him.

“Tony, I-he was making me blush because I’d told him I had this crush on this guy and he was messing me around about it. I never meant to leave you. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I guess. I know you don’t really care much for relationship talk…” Phil trailed off, gaze trailing down to his rag-nail.

“Really?” Tony finally sounded like himself, lifting his head to stare at the soft brown tufts of Phil’s head.

“Yeah, really.” Phil looked up and they met eye to eye once more, he blushed and this time Tony giggled at him.

“Can I ask you who the guy is?” Tony kicked his legs at Phil, trade-mark smirk appearing.

“You can but I don’t want anyone to beat anybody up,” Tony blushed himself and rolled his eyes at his stupid actions, vowing to apologise to Thor.

“I promise I won’t,” Tony swore, looking directly into Phil’s eyes as he said it. Phil antagonised over it for a whole two minutes, chewing anxiously at his lip before finally making a decision.

Phil caught Tony’s worried eyes once more before moving in and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Overwhelmed, Tony almost choked on air but was moving before he knew it, hands pulling Phil’s face back towards his own in a much less chaste kiss. That was how, embarrassingly, the teachers caught them.

And then Tony realised he never really had a problem with Phil dating guys as long as he dated him.


End file.
